Month: August 2020

  • Covid Confession

    This has been a tough and trying day. Nothing really has gone the way any of us have expected.

    Except for the laundry. I got the laundry done on time.

    Today is the wife’s official first day at her new job. Being that she is still working at home, it doesn’t feel like too much has changed.

    We are down to the final 10 days before the kid starts school. And again, as she will be learning from home. It won’t be an enormous change, as she was learning from home in the Spring, so that doesn’t feel like it will change anything.

    Me, on the other hand, each day is pretty much the same. So, not much has changed there.

    Which means we all feel rather stuck. And it isn’t too hard to believe that. We have been doing the lock down for five and a half months now.

    No end in sight. Just plugging away.

    Ahhh…

    When I wake up in the morning, I do have this feeling of dread that there is this mountain of things that I have to get done, and also at the same time, I have the feeling that there is no way I will get them done.

    But I have to make sure the kid is okay, and that the wife is being supported, as she is the bread winner now and going to school at the same time, which is a huge burden/responsibility that can completely stress her out. She’s a good wife and mother.

    I just keep hoping that things will get better; at less stressful.

    One day…

  • Novel Structure, Out of the Comfort Zone

    I took the kid to the park this morning, and it was good weather, so we stayed for over an hour. The nice thing about this age is that I really don’t have to stay on top of the kid, as in watching what she is doing every second. This gives me the ability to journal. Normally, I get about 30 minutes in, but today, I got a full hour in.

    With this extra time, I started to work on a couple ideas for the novel. Mainly, I am having an issue of wrapping up the “First Act” of the story to lead into the “Second Act,” and previously I thought it best just to move forward, put something down, and then come back to it later to fix. It is a first draft.

    That hasn’t been sitting right with me. I’m having a hard time thinking that I can move forward on the second act, if I don’t know where the character is at the end of the first act.

    So, with the extra time today, I thought that I should tackle this situation. And as I sketched out ideas, I was reminded of two things that are intertwined; The Hero with a Thousand Faces by Joseph Campbell, and the Story Circle by Dan Harmon. To make this simple if you don’t know them, Campbell basically said that all humans have a prototype hero story that, which involves the hero leaving safety to go out in the world, overcome a challenge that changes them and the world, and then proceeds to return home to share this transformation. Harmon broke the hero story down into eight steps, which can be used to tell just about any story. And Dan co-created Rick and Morty.

    Thinking about Campbell and Harmon, I had to ask myself some additional tough questions, which is; do I want to outline this story? I have done the outline thing before when I was helping people with their projects, and I won’t lie, it really does help me complete stories. The downside is, and this is whinny, that it doesn’t make me feel creative. And when I say creative, to me that means spontaneous. But I have been writing spontaneously since forever, and it hasn’t garnered any substantial success.

    It’s funny, but doing this work, structuring and planning, is actually taking me out of my comfort zone. But I am committed to doing and trying new things this time around, so let’s see if Joseph and Dan can help me out.

  • Gotta Have Writing Goals

    I am still trying to make the best out of this pretty bad situation. Well, a shitty situation. I have no reservations with moving into the “stay at home parent” role, as that’s what the situation calls for. One day, I might return to work out of the home, but I’m trying not to plan too far ahead with anything. And at the same time, I have to have something to work on and move towards; a goal.

    I am working on two writing projects; this blog, and the novel.

    When it comes to blogs, this is, I think, my third or fourth attempt at one in the past fifteen years. This one, though I haven’t been the most frequent or dedicated blogger, is the only one that has stuck. Keeping everything short to just 250 words has provided a good structure to work within. It is teaching me to be concise and clear in my story telling.

    As for the novel, that does give me something long term to work on. This is the fourth novel that I have written, and by saying that, I have every intention of completing it. Publication is a different story, but for now, just having a goal of starting and finishing something seems to be the most important thing while living in this world of never ending Covid.

    What I find myself thinking about is what my grandmother used to say to me growing up; that you gotta have a goal, something to look forward too. Right now, I can see very clearly that grandma was right. She did grow up during the Depression, so I think she knew what she was talking about.

  • Autobiographical Fiction

    Last night I was working on the novel, and I noticed that my second chapter was getting pretty big, unwieldy, and that I still had yet figure out how to wrap it up. Again, I know it’s a first draft, but I thought it best to just cut it off, start the third chapter, and continue the idea of building up the dynamic of the town. As I am about to move the protagonist’s story to New York City, I need to make sure the small town he finds himself in is defined for a clear contrast to what his current life is, and what his past life in the City was like.

    I know; nice and vague, right?

    And as I came up with these thoughts for my own story, I had this moment where I felt like I was not doing the best job of disguising myself and my experiences in my own work. It is fiction, after all. I know that writers writing about themselves is nothing new, especially novels. Hell, that was Wolfe’s entire career.

    How autobiographical can you get in your work and still call it fiction?

    And the reverse, how much fiction can you create about yourself, and still call it the truth?

    It is my personal belief that all fiction is based on the writer creating the story, and it has spurned a whole subsection of fiction. I would even take it a step further, and say that autobiographical writing is expected nowadays. How can you be honest in your story if you are not being honest about yourself with the reader?

    Just thoughts I am having while working.

  • Admitting Truth, and Novel Chapters

    There are a few things I think is best to just to admit to myself, and you while I’m at it…

    One is that I love reading crap on the internet, and going down rabbit holes that eat up about 30 minutes at a time. When I make this mistake, I swear to myself that I will never do it again, and then about an hour later, I’m right back at looking stupid crap, eating up valuable time.

    Two is that I hate our health insurance system. I especially hate how dental insurance runs a completely different type of insurance scam that is somehow legal. (So, I pay monthly for dental insurance, but it covers nothing?) I have never had a good experience with health insurance, and I never will.

    Three is that I keep debating if I really like doing the work of writing, or if I like the idea of doing the work of writing, and I may never come to a true conclusion and that will haunt me for the rest of my life.

    You can see how my day has been going.

    The last major project I need to work on today is the novel. Sadly, as I was journaling earlier today, and I find myself stuck in a corner that I have created when it comes to the novel. I have three decent chapters for the “first act” of the book, but I feel like I have run out of gas. I know where the protagonist needs to be at the start of the “second act” but I am have trouble getting him there, or even seeing how he will get there. The best I could come up with today was to just write as much of the first act as possible, and then when stuck, just start the second act, and see what happens.

    I have to keep reminding myself that this is a first draft and that it won’t be perfect. I keep having so much trouble accepting that as the truth.

    Ah…

    Four, my first draft will be terrible and that is okay.