I think I was making real progress when it comes to writing, over the past month. And then this week hit, and I just ground to a halt. I am aware that the anniversary of my mother’s passing on Monday has been weighing on my mind, and I know that’s normal, and it should happen. I guess what I hoped I would do would be to channel those feelings into something creative.
Part of this process, the grieving process, is learning to forgive, and accept yourself. Grieving is individual and creates feeling of anger and guilt. I am trying to just let myself feel what this is like. Not force it into something that seems to be the reaction I should have. Somedays, I honestly feel like I should be having a deeper reaction to her passing, and other, I feel smothered in a blanket of sadness and loss.
I guess I thought I was ready to start using these emotions in my creative process, but I think I’m not there yet. I did say to myself that I wanted a year to go by before I put anything on paper, or attempted to share this publicly. Maybe this is what the start of this process feels like?
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