Flashback

I was checking a shared work folder in my DropBox, when I saw a folder of documents that I haven’t looked at for over a year. It was a protection folder that I had from my last job in New York, which contained email and documents that I could use as evidence of the unprofessional behavior and harassment that I was receiving from people in the theatre department. Funny thing was that I thought that the “company” would want this information when I filed a complaint, but at the end of my time there, it became clear that the Exec’s decided that I was the expendable one. Not that I was fired, but no one wept for me when I left for California.

And when I looked at these documents again, I had a pure flashback of the anxiety and stress of that time in my life. The whole situation tested my moral center as this was a situation where people were clearly doing unethical things, bordering on illegal, but nothing happened to them. I had believed, and still do, that if you behave badly, it will come around. Somehow, it still hasn’t happened. And it might never happen to those two guys.

The other awful part was that people aw what was happening to me, and no one said anything. People looked the other way and didn’t want to get involved. That’s how bullying works; it the fear that bully will turn on you.

And I thought about deleting all of it. Just clearing it out of my life.

But, I think I need the reminder. I don’t think it’s healthy to never remember that situation.