A long time ago, I used to work at a theatre school. It was a very small company, and everyone wore many hats. On the first day of classes, the faculty would give new students a tour of the classrooms and the studios. Though I wasn’t a member of the faculty, I offered to give tours, and to my surprise, they directors agreed.
I wanted to do it for two main reasons; I wanted to see how funny I could be to a bunch of 18 year olds, and two, I remember how nervous I was on the first day of college and I wanted to help everybody relax.
The staff had a script for the tour, but I never referred to it, except to pick one kid to read the section which suggested that the tour guide should work into the conversation that it is expected for the students to shower each day. (When a student read that out loud, it usually got a nervous laugh, and I would follow up with saying, “Please, don’t stink.”)
The theme of my tour was, “Don’t be a dick.” Such as be respectful to each other, don’t be a dick. The studio spaces are rented by professional theatre companies, so don’t be a dick around them, coz you might have to audition for them, and they’ll remember you were that dick student. By the end of my short tour, I had the students finishing the punchline as I set up the joke, “Don’t be a dick.”
I thought it was sage theatre advice. In fact, good advice all around.