Things Change

There are things in my life that I can check off as having accomplished a dream, which is a great feeling. And, as true for everyone, there are things I am still working at. Then there is the category of the things I thought I wanted, but now don’t. That is the one that has been funny to deal with.

I think this is the thing, the addendum that needs to be added for the, “Going After Your Dreams” speech… mainly that your dreams may change, and that’s okay.

My senior year in college, I was all hell bent on being a professional theatre director. I directed in school, and some limited success in community theatres. I moved to New York, and directed readings, and one acts, and read up on directing theory, joined a directing lab… and one day, I had to admit to myself that I didn’t want to do it anymore. I had felt the passion leaving me over the final two years before I admitted it, and I had acted like I was still all about it with friends. That’s why I had to admit it to myself, I was living a sham. I would still like to direct one day, but I no longer have a burning passion for it.

Then it took me awhile to come to terms with the fact that I had changed. There is a fine line from giving up, and just not wanting it anymore, and I wrestled with that. Maybe I was never that good, and I received too much rejection? Maybe. Maybe things change and life evolves?